How To Help
- Sexual assault is about power, control, and aggression.
- Someone’s actions or dress cannot send a message “asking” to be raped.
- Most sexual assaults are planned in advance and are not impulsive acts.
- It is not uncommon for a victim to “freeze” when confronted with a dangerous situation. This does not mean the victim “wanted it”.
- Sexual assault may make the victim feel powerless. Continue to allow the victim to make his/her own choices and be in control of what he/she needs.
How You May Feel as a Significant Other:
- Guilty: you were unable to prevent this from happening to your loved one.
- Rage: toward the perpetrator and you may fantasize about revenge.
- Anger/Resentment: toward your partner for not being “more careful”.
- Jealous: that someone else has had sexual contact with your partner.
- Overwhelmed: especially if you become the target of your loved one’s rage, sadness, and confusion.
- All of these feelings are normal.
Do’s and Don’ts:
- Do validate your partner’s feelings
- Don’t blame the survivor.
- Do LISTEN to the survivor
- Don’t force the survivor to forgive.
- Do find time to spend together
- Do blame the offender NOT the survivor
- Don’t take outbursts personally.